Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Zach Braff Sounds Very Much Like a Golden Retriever

Zach Braff, the star of a program called "Scrubs," which Poodle Bitch does not watch, and of a film called "Garden State," during which Poodle Bitch fell asleep, has carved out a (hopefully) lucrative if not artistically satisfying career doing commercial voice over work.

This state of affairs has annoyed a writer at Slate.

Braff's voiceover work can currently be heard in two TV ad campaigns, one for PUR water filters and the other for Cottonelle toilet paper.
Braff's vocal performances, however—particularly in these Cottonelle ads—are so over-the-top annoying that they call attention to themselves. Not good attention.

Listen to Braff's supremely irritating take on the Cottonelle puppy. I recognize that the ad is meant to play on the viewer's soft spot for adorable house pets. But images of the puppy do that well enough. There's no need to have Braff hammily voicing the canine thought process.

"Hammy" and "annoying" are two words that Poodle Bitch would use to describe the typical Labrador voice (do not let certain propaganda sites mislead you regarding their "even temperament." That is a euphemism for "dull," and Labs know this, and overcompensate). For this reason, the makers of the commercial are to be commended for casting Mr. Braff- and chastised for casting the Lab. Complaining that someone providing a Lab's voice is "annoying" is like complaining that someone painted the sky less blue than it should be.

Poodle Bitch would point out the Slate writer that Mr. Braff was acting the breed, and quite convincingly.

That said, there is one other thing about the commercial that perturbed Poodle Bitch, and was apparently missed by the Slate writer. Poodle Bitch shall embed the commercial below, for the benefit of her readers.

This puppy Lab- a baby- describes himself as "lookin' sexy." Poodle Bitch is rather tired of the sexualization of puppies. She wonders why it is that baby dogs can't simply be baby dogs?

There is plenty of time for "lookin' sexy" when the even temperamented pup grows up.

Poodle Bitch wonders why it is that humans insist on sexualizing puppies.

Sexualized puppy photograph source.

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