Poodle Bitch did not bother with discussing last week’s Project Runway “All Star” Edition- it seemed to merit little in the way of commentary. There was Santino, behaving like Santino, conducting himself in such as manner as to guarantee the most screen time while neglecting his clothes, which ended up being quite shoddy and sleazy looking. Although, Poodle Bitch does find his impressions of Tim Gunn to be funny. There was poor Chris, seeming to pass out every five minutes. There was Sweet P, whose designs have always confused Poodle Bitch and should not have been in the top four. There was Korto, who likely should have won, but for her sour attitude upon being announced the runner up. The winner, Daniel, seemed to win the prize based upon a single dress. As well made as it was, Poodle Bitch was appalled by his ridiculous extra challenge dress, which had the appearance of dynamite strapped to a suicide bomber’s stomach.
Poodle Bitch would have awarded the title to Chris, although she worries that the excitement of winning might have caused him to lose consciousness.
Much more interesting to Poodle Bitch, and surprisingly so, was “Models of the Runway.” Poodle Bitch waited until just two days ago to watch the first episode, as she falsely believed the models were little more than objects for the designers. Why not have a show about the fabrics the designers use, Poodle Bitch joked. Or, perhaps, their sewing machines? Instead, Poodle Bitch found herself intrigued by life in a model house, and with the concerns and fears of the women who have to strut down the runway in the sometimes silly things the designers concoct.
She was most especially made more sympathetic to the plight of Mitchell’s model. Poodle Bitch believes wholeheartedly that the nightgown man should have been eliminated last week, and getting the story of how his “design” was created from the model’s point of view only solidified her opinion. Poodle Bitch will continue to watch.
This week’s Project Runway opened with Mitchell, Poodle Bitch’s least favorite designer, joking about sending a naked woman down the runway. Nicolas added, “With a really beautiful collar,” but Poodle Bitch would have to disagree even with that. The collar was certainly not anything Poodle Bitch would wear, and if Poodle Bitch would not wear it, then it is not beautiful.
Poodle Bitch already misses the handstand woman.
For their challenge, the designers had to create a dress for the pregnant actress Rebecca Romijn. This fabulously wealthy and famous woman lamented the fact that she was having a difficult time finding fashionable clothing to fit a pregnant woman’s body. So the designers will give her something that is “pregnancy chic,” for any event.
Logan from Seattle endears himself to Poodle Bitch by admitting that “babies kind of scare me.” As they do Poodle Bitch.
But he is still standing in the shadows, as are all the designers, of poodle companion Irina. As she puts it, “there shouldn’t be such a gap between maternity clothes, and regular clothes.” Poodle Bitch finds it difficult to argue with this point. Irina is both tasteful and practical.
Poodle Bitch is happy to note that, now that the handstanding woman has left the show, it is the androgyne Malvin who has taken up her mantle of strangeness, endeavoring to design a dress inspired by eggs and bird nests. “Basically, this look is called ‘the Mother Hen.’”
Poodle Bitch is happy that he chose not to call it “the Mother Poodle.”
Mitchell verbalizes exactly why he should have been eliminated last week when, much to Poodle Bitch’s disgust, he interviews that he is “not looking to go out on a limb,” and is not looking to win the challenge, but to play it safe. Poodle Bitch now hopes that the Mother Hen stomps on him. He might look like the actor who plays "Dexter," but that does not excuse his attitude.
Tim’s advice to Louise the Vintage Girl during the walkthrough is some of Poodle Bitch’s favorite ever: “If your viscera says ‘uh-oh,’ it’s probably true.”
Yes, listen to your viscera. Poodle Bitch concurs. He could have said that to Malvin as well. Instead, he is too polite. “I’m not bored,” he says, when Malvin says he wants to create wide-hipped jodhpurs to give a feeling of “chicken thighs.”
This episode’s runway show is one of the strangest Poodle Bitch remembers. The “bellies” do not seem to fit any of the models properly. This is not only because all of the models seem far to thin and frail to actually carry human fetuses. Poodle Bitch is no expert on human pregnancy (nor is she much of an expert on dog pregnancy- she has been spayed) but she did not think that human bellies rode quite so low as they did on the models as they strutted down the runway.
Once again, it was Irina who provided what was, to Poodle Bitch’s eye, the most beautifully designed and well-made of the dresses. Her blue dress was “fun,” as she described it. But once again, the judges did not agree, and Irina was sent off the runway with neither one of the highest or lowest scores.
However, Poodle Bitch did appreciate Louise the Vintage Girl’s almost-lingerie dress Clearly, she is more than just a non-evil version of Kenley. Shirin’s dress and coat were also nice.
But they were not Irina.
The guest judge whose name Poodle Bitch did not catch says that she has friends who would wear Mitchell’s mess. Poodle Bitch believes this should disqualify her from judging, and looks forward to the return of Michael Kors.
Poodle Bitch does not feel it was too great an injustice that Shirin won the challenge.
The final two were not unexpected. Poodle Bitch is, however, disappointed that once again Mitchell was selected to remain, while the more “unusual” contestant is sent home. Poodle Bitch wonders first of all, who will be strange one nest week (the woodland sprite woman?), and will Mitchell once again not try to win the challenge, but just get by, and end up in the bottom two?
Moreover, Poodle Bitch has a message to producers: More Irina!
Models of the Runway picture source.
Mitchell picture source.
Louise picture source.
Irina design sketch source.
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