A withering glance. A well-timed roll of the eyes. Occasionally, a subtle growl. Perhaps even a sticking out of the tongue. These are the tools that Poodle Bitch uses when dealing with unruly interlopers, rude questioners, or guests that refuse to leave even after the last of the dessert has been consumed.
Poodle Bitch is a dog of very refined taste, and she does not expect every dog to be so refined. But she does expect dogs to, at minimum, behave in a dignified manner. Most especially she expects dignity from the nation's "First Dog," the Portuguese water dog named "Bo."
Imagine the shock that Poodle Bitch felt when she witnessed the following video, posted on YouTube, for all the world to see:
Bo is not some ruffian mutt roaming the streets. He is not burdened by having to attend public training classes at the local "Y." He resides in the White House. He has every advantage of training that so many in our nation must do without. It is therefore inexcusable for a dog to behave in such a manner. Bo is the ambassador for dogs all over the world.
His behavior in this video is not "cute." It is not "playful." It is not "endearing." It is vulgar and crude. It is, Poodle Bitch shudders to say this, beastly. It displays a questionable temperament.
Poodle Bitch realizes that Bo is still only a puppy, and is loath to blame him for his actions. It is clear to Poodle Bitch that someone on the White House staff has been remiss. If this is the behavior we can expect from this dog, then he should not be let out of the House until he is ready.
This is unfair; Bo did not ask for this attention, nor did he ask for this responsibility. But Poodle Bitch would like to point out that life is unfair. And, as far as "unfair fates" go, being adopted into the "First Family" is one of the better ones.
Shame on you, Bo. Shame on you, White House. You have done incalculable damage to the dog manners movement.
Poodle Bitch advises first dog Bo to remain indoors, away from reporters, until such time as he is able to handle the responsibilities of his position.
Poodle Bitch considers herself to have very refined taste, and a low tolerance for absurdity. Those with questions or concerns, or those seeking advice, are encouraged to contact her at email@example.com